Love: 2012

Friday, 13 July 2012

Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.
There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active

most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.

One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.

It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.

Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all thehormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.

There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.

You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.

Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.

Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.

You can't make someone love you, even on Valentine's Day, no matter what Hallmark, Godiva and FTD may say. But how much do we really know about how love works? What is it that attracts a particular man to a particular woman and (with any luck) vice versa? To see what light science could shed on the subject, I called Professor Martha McClintock at the University of Chicago. McClintock is an expert on odor and behavior who published a famous study in the early 1970s that showed that the menstrual cycles of college women living in dorms became synchronized through exposure to one another's pheromones, those faint chemical signals released from the skin that control the mating rituals of much of the animal kingdom. McClintock has a new study, published in the February issue of Nature Genetics, that makes an even more provocative link between sex and odor--specifically, the odor of a T shirt worn by a man on two consecutive days.

The experiment was simple. The T shirts were carefully prepared (no cologne, no cigarettes, no sex) and then placed in boxes where they could be smelled but not seen. Forty-nine unmarried women were asked to sniff the boxes and choose which box they would prefer "if they had to smell it all the time."

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The results would have made Sigmund Freud proud. The women were attracted to the smell of a man who was genetically similar--but not too similar--to their dads. McClintock thinks there's an evolutionary explanation. "Mating with someone too similar might lead to inbreeding," she says. Mating with someone too different "leads to the loss of desirable gene combinations."

McClintock isn't suggesting you can attract a mate by smell alone, but that hasn't discouraged companies like Erox from bottling pheromones and stopping just short of calling them aphrodisiacs. Marketing websites feature links to scientific papers on the power of pheromones. I spoke to Dr. David Berliner, CEO of Pherin Pharmaceuticals, who did some of the initial research. While working at the University of Utah with natural compounds produced by human skin, he noticed a surprising change in the behavior of his male and female colleagues. "They developed an increased level of camaraderie that was hard to explain," he says. There were smiles, eye contact and increased approachability until the skin extracts were removed, at which point the group reverted to normal behavior.

But even Berliner balks at categorizing pheromones as aphrodisiacs. "I've been looking for an aphrodisiac for 11 years, and I'm convinced that there is no such thing," he says. The Food and Drug Administration agrees. It surveyed purported love potions--from oysters to rhino horn--and determined that none of them work. This Valentine's Day, I think I'll stick with flowers, a card and some chocolate.

Dr. Gupta is a neurosurgeon and CNN medical correspondent

You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams--Dr. Seuss.
I love her and that's the beginning of everything--F. Scoot Fitzgerald.
Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness--Oliver Wendell Holmes.
Out of all the people I've ever met you are the one who makes me draw those silly little hearts on my papers--Unknown.
Where there is the greatest love, there are always miracles--Willa Cather.
Love reduces the complexity of living--Anais Nin.
If I know what love is, it is because of you--Hermann Hesse.
Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart--Unknown.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind--William Shakespeare.
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction--Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely--Hawkeye: M*A*S*H
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat---Ben Hecht.
You are my answered prayer, my fulfilled wish, my realized dream.
In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities--Janos Arany
Love is friendship set on fire---Jeremy Taylor
A relationship is like a rose, how long it lasts, no one knows. Love can erase an awful past, Love can be your's, you'll see, at last. To feel that love, it makes you sigh, To have it leave, you'd rather die. You hope you've found that special rose, "cause you love and care for the one you choose". --Rob Cella
At last I know what love is really like--Virgil.
Love does not begin and end the way we think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war, love is growing up. --James Baldwin.
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful; but she is beautiful because you love her....Unknown.
Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.--James Baldwin.
8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning....I Love You.
We can only learn to love by loving.-Iris Murdoch
Love is like a rumor, Everyone talks about it, but no one truly knows. -unknown
When the power of Love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
My Love for you is a journey. Starting at forever; ending at never. --Anonymous
Finding true love is like finding a star in a cloudy sky.--- unknown
When I first saw you, I fell in love and you smiled because you knew. ---Shakespeare
You are what I never knew I always wanted. (Movie--Fools Rush In)
If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you made me smile, I would have the whole night sky in the palm of my hand. --unknown
Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly. --Rose Franken
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.(Jeanne Moreau)
It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. (Andre Gide)

A month of love

I wonder if this is a right season for you to consider whispering some sweet wordsinto your lover’s ears. Yes, it’s a month of love…a season of love…if you are having a special lady in your life; you should know she is just the one who is special enough for you to touch her heart with your sincerity in this very tender of month…

Love quotes work wonder

It’s a fact always that sincere words that coming from your heart are always the best to touch her in the tender moment, even the word that as simple as “I love you…” , well, she really can sense your sincerity, after all, it’s all from your heart.

However, besides “I love you”, you might not want to believe that sometimes some sweet love quotes work wonder than your imagination and expectation

make your special girl feel more special

So, try writing your loved one somelove quotes, be it in a small note that secretly dropped into her purse, whispering into her ears or scribbling on the Valentine’s card that you have ready for her…

What? You find yourself fall short of words?! I know…words sometimes do elude you when it really comes to saying something…

That’s my purpose of posting this hub…I have ready for you 50 best romantic quotes here…remember guys, make your special girl feel more special by putting words to your heartfelt emotions through these romantic quotes…

Keeping Love Healthy with Money Problems

Money may not everything, but it also isn’t just anything. It helps us not only to survive, but also allows us to enjoy other luxuries and do many enjoyable things with the ones we love. Money also gives us the strength and confidence to chase after our dreams and assists us in making them come true. love credit crunch

When money is short such as in the credit crunch and debt is involved however, it can affect your romantic relationship, no matter how much you and your partner may love each other. This is because when you go from a life of comfort to a life of struggle and unwanted change, it creates stress for everyone involved and patience can be short. When patience is short, it causes people to be easily annoyed with each other and they tend to snap at each other quickly due to all the worries on their mind.

Can money problems and a credit crunch ruin a good romantic connection? It can- but it doesn’t have to! With all the financial trouble out there today, it is very likely you will find yourself in some money trouble sooner or later. Naturally, both you and your partner are going to feel concerned and stressed out about it, and that’s okay. The only important effort you both need to make is to do whatever it takes to avoid turning on each other and playing blame games, and instead work together love credit

in taking care of your financial situation. As unpleasant as it may be, you both will have to make certain changes in order to keep your heads above water until your situation improves. This includes budgeting on things you never had to before and finding less expensive ways to enjoy life.

Work together in finding romantic things to do together that cost less. It is essential that you keep your romance alive and healthy during rough times and not allow money obstacles to tear you and your love apart. Tackle your money problems together, but do not neglect your love life. Make dates to do something nice together that will not out a strain on any of your wallets. For example, you can reserve a certain night for “movie night”, rent some movies and cuddle on the couch together with some sweet snacks. You could also cook up a romantic dinner at home, or go out for dinner and come home for dessert. There are many things you can do- the point is to be attentive to your relationship and not get drowned in your money worries. There is time to work on finances and time to enjoy your relationship. Your passion for each other should not go on hold and there is no need to turn against each other, because this is something you both can tackle and conquer together- as a loving couple.

Things to Remember:

How you felt about each other when you first fell in love and focus on why you love each other in the first place

Remember how supportive you both were of each other when things were going well. It is time to now supportive of each other through struggling times too.
Remember that it takes two to keeps things good or to make them go sour. Team work is the key!
Always be open to listen to one another, even if you do not always agree. Ignoring things, blaming each other or closing up to what the other has to say will not make your money problems go away and could actually make it worse in more ways than one.
Tackle this together and come up with a plan you both like to help you both get back on track.

When I see you smiling at her the way you used to smile at me, my heart breaks in a million pieces and I have to hang my head so no one see�s the tears coming on.

Honey, if U think I miss U all the time, U R wrong. I miss U only when I think of U. And U know what? I think of all the time.

love is extremely addicting, once the first taste is taken then soon leaves the pallete, it isnt long before you are craving another taste.

Love is taken to quickly, one becomes obsessed and then it seems as if it is just like the miracle loves of the theater. In truth, love is a living breathing thing that must be constantly worked with. The presence of jealousy is the only thing that can truely break the hold on true love, in jealousy there is only love for oneself, not for both

She may have a pretty face, but when im with you everything tunes out and all i care about is seeing you happy

I'm in love with you, but you belong to someone else. I will wait for you forever.

i can still remember the the when i first saw you outside the school waiting for a cab with your best friend in that day i never forget you....your the only person make my heart beating fast every time i saw you.

I would wait forever if I knew that when forever ends I would be with you.

A relationship is like a rose, How long it lasts...no one knows,Love can raise an Awful past,Love can be yours ,you'll see at last, to feel that love, it makes you sign,to have it leave,you'd rather die,you hope you've found that special rose, cause you love and care for the one you chose

if i had to choose to love you or to breathe i would use my last breathe to say i love you.

all your promise's were lies you Promised Me that You Would Never Leave Me, The Next Day You Left Me You Promised Me That You Would Never Hurt Me Again, Then, You Hurt Me More Than Ever You Promised Me That You Would Always Love Me No Matter What, Now You Wont Even Talk To Me Baby Pretty Much Every Word That Came Of Of Your Mouth Was A Liee -By__Meghan Nicole Murcott -Dedicated To__Maxwell Blake Garland

love is like a fine wine sweet at first and bitter in the end

luv is like a war, easy to begin, but hard to end.

Pick the pieces off the floor,I don't want them anymore because I didn't break it,I just made every girls mistake.

you're, my friend my companion through good times and bad through happy and sad beside me you walk beside me you stand you're there to listen you're there to talk with happiness, with smiles with pain and tears i know you'll be there through all of my years

we leap hoping to god we can fly cos otherwise we drop like a rock wandering all the way down , why in hell did i jump? but here i am ____ falling in love with you!

LOVE IT WHEN U NOT NO YOU NOT DREAMING BUT IT FEEL GOOD!!!!

I MISS THE WAY U LAUGHED, I MISS THE WAY WE TALK,I MISS THE TIMES WE HAD,I MISS THE LOVE WE SHARED, BUT MOST OF ALL I MISS THE WAY YOU CARED!!

LOVE IS HEAT, ITS VERY SWEAT, WHEN 2 LIPS MEET,LOVE IS COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If love was water i would drink the see, if love was a dream i would go to heaven, if love was a tree i would take the forest.... shall i tell you what love is ?.... you and me.

beauty only gets attention... personality captures the heart =]

cry a river, build a bridge and get over it!